i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
