I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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