There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
True strength comes from lack of pants
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
