Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's blow job season.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
