Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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