More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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