You really coming over, don't trick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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