She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
