Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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