Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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