YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
