tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
