sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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