Already got asked if we're dating
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
