Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She bit a glass in half.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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