Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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