Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my liver is dry heaving
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize