We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
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