Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Couch. On fire.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
