this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
