I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
