Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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