His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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