Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize