Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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