forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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