It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
