so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
