I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
