I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize