Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
