I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
