im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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