i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
