This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
