We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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