she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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