I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
