I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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