if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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