you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
how drunk are you?
Several
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
