And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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