We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
