Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
