sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
