Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
