her vagine was all disorganized.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
