there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize