And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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