she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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