Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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