I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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