I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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