it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
