I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
