Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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