the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
