So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
