I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
