Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he thought i was a dude.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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