At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
